Passport, New and Old
I recently came into possession of a new passport courtesy of ICA. It was during the fateful week when the agency was closed to walk-in applicants. I was permitted access because I had applied online the week before and was given the much-coveted pink slip inviting me to collect my new pass to the ports of the world.
In a way, my new passport signified a new start to my life. The old one was peppered with the immigration stamps of various countries I had visited with my then wife. They ranged from neighbouring countries like Indonesia and Malaysia to more far-flung ones like the UK and Maldives. The stamps represented bits and pieces of my life, albeit the better ones, as they are recollections of holiday trips past and gone. Looking at them now, however, forces uncomfortable questions into my mind as to what the hell had happened along the way.
But it's futile to torture one's mind with questions that cannot be answered in retrospect simply because we don't have the benefit of hindsight when we're dealing with the situation in real time. Learning from hindsight and emerging from unpleasant episodes in one's life unscathed is the preserve of those who live their lives vicariously, either through reading or hearing about others. To live your life and learn from mistakes means that memories of the past will often prick your heart and punish your mind, sometimes to disastrous effects.
I will put my old passport somewhere until I'm ready to throw it away. Not that I've any real desire to relive my past trips, but there's a comfort in knowing that you've really lived, even if those years were painful. The new one, which I'll be using increasingly more often, represents the proverbial blank sheet that I can start all over again. A canvas that I can paint colours into my not bland but yet not colourful life to get me off my butt in many areas: relationships, personal development, career etc. And the list goes on. It's a start and I hope to see it through because life is about moving ahead. If you stand still, you might as well be 6 feet under, so I will move on and move ahead. I'll do it even if it kills me. At least I can tell my maker I tried.
In a way, my new passport signified a new start to my life. The old one was peppered with the immigration stamps of various countries I had visited with my then wife. They ranged from neighbouring countries like Indonesia and Malaysia to more far-flung ones like the UK and Maldives. The stamps represented bits and pieces of my life, albeit the better ones, as they are recollections of holiday trips past and gone. Looking at them now, however, forces uncomfortable questions into my mind as to what the hell had happened along the way.
But it's futile to torture one's mind with questions that cannot be answered in retrospect simply because we don't have the benefit of hindsight when we're dealing with the situation in real time. Learning from hindsight and emerging from unpleasant episodes in one's life unscathed is the preserve of those who live their lives vicariously, either through reading or hearing about others. To live your life and learn from mistakes means that memories of the past will often prick your heart and punish your mind, sometimes to disastrous effects.
I will put my old passport somewhere until I'm ready to throw it away. Not that I've any real desire to relive my past trips, but there's a comfort in knowing that you've really lived, even if those years were painful. The new one, which I'll be using increasingly more often, represents the proverbial blank sheet that I can start all over again. A canvas that I can paint colours into my not bland but yet not colourful life to get me off my butt in many areas: relationships, personal development, career etc. And the list goes on. It's a start and I hope to see it through because life is about moving ahead. If you stand still, you might as well be 6 feet under, so I will move on and move ahead. I'll do it even if it kills me. At least I can tell my maker I tried.
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