Anniversary

I got hitched again in end-2012 and it was not without questions and doubts.  After my first marriage failed, I wondered if I could do better and hold up my end of the bargain, so to speak.  Of course, there were those who asked me why I was willing to do it again, especially those who went through the same thing as me.  I did it because it felt right and instead of just letting emotions drowned me, it also made sense to settle down with someone who share my faith and values.  Of course, the fact that she stood by me for many years helped, but it was more than that.  It was love at a level I never experienced before.  I've encountered the heady kind of love, the kind that caused one to lose their sanity and believed they can conquer the world.  But such love, if not moderated by logic, is a potent mix that often results in disaster.   But this was love that my faith had taught me about; self sacrificial love that I can count on and not head-over-heels love that comes and go.

The last 11 months or so was peppered with highs and lows, the magnificent and mundane.  But I'm grateful for peace and stability in my soul now that I've found the one who can stand by and support me.  She's someone who's wise beyond her years, especially where our faith is concerned, and she brings a moderating influence to my sometimes extreme ways.  God knows I've an emotional baggage but through my faith and her, it's slowly starting to come off.  Of course, this will take a while but I know I'll get there eventually.  I constantly remind myself that if I don't, I'll end up like one of those old people who have regrets and resentments for companionship in their old age.  This should not be the way we walk off into the sunset at the end of our lives.  While we may have regrets, our mistakes also shape the way we are.  If we learn from them, we'll not let their imprints be left on our soul and we can grow.  On the other hand, if we react the wrong way, we'll fester in unhappiness.  Why stand still when we can move on to experience more of life?

So I look forward to good things while knowing I'll have support if I do encounter not so good ones.  But I think I'm more confident of how things will turn out after being married for 1 year.  And I'll be looking towards a nice stay at Ritz Carlton and dinner at Morton's :)   

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