Equatorial Musings

After many years of trying, both naturally or through artificial means, we finally welcomed our boy in January 2023.  It had been a tough journey, spanning more than a decade, both physically for my wife and emotionally for both of us.  We almost became parents in 2017 and 2020 but it was not to be then.  The anguish of our loss still lingers within our hearts and looms over us whenever we think of them.        While we were elated with joy when we found out that my wife was pregnant last May, there were trepidations because we have had 2 unsuccessful pregnancies previously.  However, with much prayers and perseverence, we managed to have a somewhat uneventful pregnancy.  Perhaps "uneventful" is an overstatement as we did have a scare in the first trimester that had caused much consternation and concern.  But by God's grace, the baby developed well and each visit to the gynaecologist watered our hope.    Our boy made his entran...

It’s been a while since my last blog entry in late 2014.  Since then, I’ve changed jobs and things have been rather hectic at work.   But it’s also because I seem to be losing momentum in recent years.   I can’t quite pin it down, but it could be that I’m getting old or lazy, or both.   Murakami said that while some writers seem to have an endless well of ideas to draw upon, it’s not the case for him.   To him, writing is something that he has to work on, and it can be tough depending on whether the creative juices flow.   I’ve read his first few and later novels, and I never felt that he had to labor over his work.   Somehow, he has a way of putting across his ideas in simple but impactful ways.   True, his earlier works can seem plotless but he more than made up for it through his punchy writing.   And some of his work are very complicated and hard to understand, such as Kafka on the Shore which I didn’t quite grasp.   I’m not comparin...

For as long as I can remember, I have always liked the idea of writing.   When I was a young boy, I really thought I could write a book.   In fact, I was so taken by the idea that I pestered my mother to buy me a typewriter.   Truth be told, I did not need a typing machine, not even for school.   This was back when everything was hand written and our main source of knowledge came from books.   But I believed that having the right equipment would allow my creative thoughts to flow better.   And I tried putting fingers to keys, hoping to translate ideas into stories.   But it turned out to be harder than I imagined, especially with the pressures that a high school boy had to endure.   There were so many things fighting for my attention: school, homework, games, sports, television etc.   And the list went on.   It was just not possible to quieten down and write a story, although I tried.   I recall writing one about a dog fight...

I've been driving since 2005 and have owned 2 cars since, the latest being an Audi A4 which is a delight to drive.  Truth be told, I do love to drive and sometimes I resent the fact that Singapore is so small.  It really doesn't take very long to drive anywhere for anything in this island state.  Still, I managed to chalk up 30 over thousand km since my wife and I bought the car in October 2012.  I guess the fact that we drive everywhere to find good food has something to do with it.  When I got my first car, a Ford Focus, I was a newly minted driver eager to taste the thrills of driving.  And I did drive somewhat recklessly with little regard for my passengers.  I remember an ex-colleague from MINDEF telling me that I drive much better now.  She was being nice as it was a tactful comment on my less than nice rides in the past.  Over the years, I've learnt to be more considerate and to consider the comfort of others when they're in the car....

Happy new year to one and all!  This is my first post of 2014 and I've got something hilarious to share.  For the first time in my life, I joined a group of like-minded individuals determined to work out during lunch.  Yes, this was in a studio where most of the participants were women and what I went through was 2 Xtend Barr at Upside Motion.  It's touted as a workout at the "ballet barre for a heart-pumping, calorie-sizzling dance workout that will change your body as you know it".  Thankfully, I wasn't the only guy there.  Another of my male colleagues was also there.  For reasons that defy explanation, we allowed ourselves to be convinced by 6-7 female colleagues that we should join them for the 1-week trial at Upside Motion.  At the first class, which went on for 1 hour, the guys and some of the girls were rather apprehensive.  Not knowing what to expect, we went buoyed by unrational enthusiasm and supported by peer pressure. ...

I know it's been close to a week since I ran the half marathon, but I've been busy with work and more importantly, nursing my bruised feet :)  For some reasons, my Saucony Kinvara, while light weight and comfortable, didn't provide enough cushion during my run. Consequently, in addition to having somewhat agitated knees, my feet hurt like hell.  Even now, my right foot still complains each time I put weight on it, especially on the outer side.  And the pain spreads upwards to my calf.  Maybe it's because I didn't warm down properly.   Enough about my feet.  Now about the run.  To be frank, I almost didn't go.  First, I slept at 1 am, which to my credit, wasn't because I didn't try to sleep early.  I did, as my wife would testify, but I just couldn't do it.  Maybe it was because it was too early since I rarely hit the sack at 11ish on a Saturday night.  Or perhaps I was excited about the run, which I had written about, especial...

Tomorrow, I'll join more than 50,000 runners in taking part in StanChart's annual run event; the Singapore Marathon.  When I first started participating in the run, it was in the modest 10 km category, which if memory serves, was in 2005.  Looking back, I was quite fit then because I clocked about 55 mins for the run, which translated to less than 6 mins per km.  For someone on the wrong side of 35 then, this was quite a feat.  But then again, I was training more frequently then and I had stopped smoking for a while.  But I stopped running thereafter and picked up smoking again when my life went through a bad patch.   And while I've written about starting to run again, I'm sad to say that I've never quite regained that level of fitness and stamina I used to have. Anyway, fast forward to 2013, and I've been in a few more runs since, although not all organised by StanChart.  I did my first half marathon in end-2011 and clocked 3 hrs 16 mins an...

Notting Hill is one of those gems of a movie that has a place in cinematic history.  I just watched another re-run on cable, hence my post.  I can't remember how many times I've seen it, but it never feels old or dated.  I love the movie for a host of reasons.  First, it has a good premise with likeable characters who obviously have onscreen chemistry.  Second, it was a movie watched with important people in my life, in particular 2 of ex-partners.  While what we had have come to an end, I do cherished the times when our paths crossed.  This movie, for some reason, is like a time stamp on my past relationships.  The irony is that for a movie that has a good ending, it marks episodes in my life which didn't pan out this way.   Still, it's a movie that carries hope even though there was little to warrant it initially.  Will, played by Hugh Grant, inadvertently meets a famous actress, Anna, played by Julia Roberts.  They bumped i...

I got hitched again in end-2012 and it was not without questions and doubts.  After my first marriage failed, I wondered if I could do better and hold up my end of the bargain, so to speak.  Of course, there were those who asked me why I was willing to do it again, especially those who went through the same thing as me.  I did it because it felt right and instead of just letting emotions drowned me, it also made sense to settle down with someone who share my faith and values.  Of course, the fact that she stood by me for many years helped, but it was more than that.  It was love at a level I never experienced before.  I've encountered the heady kind of love, the kind that caused one to lose their sanity and believed they can conquer the world.  But such love, if not moderated by logic, is a potent mix that often results in disaster.   But this was love that my faith had taught me about; self sacrificial love that I can count on and not head...

I've always wanted to get back to writing my blog, but as my life settles into a good rhythm, I find it harder to take the time and effort to do so.  From hindsight, I think I wrote more in the past because I was going through tough times in my life.  Writing allowed me to verbalise my trials and testings in a way that was cathartic. and necessary for my healing.   You might wonder why I titled my post 'Giving Thanks'.  It's because I want to thank my God for rescuing me from the valley of hopelessness I was in.  When I was going through it all, I didn't think I could make it.  But He was there throughout and he brought a wonderful lady into my life; someone who stood by me through the years that it took me to recover.  And all the time, He comforted and cared for me as I lapsed in and out of negative and depressed thoughts.  I've never understood my faith the way I appreciated it when I was down and out.  Perhaps it's true what they sa...

I just finished watching The Majestic, a 2001 show starring Jim Carrey and Laurie Holden.  Most of you would know Carrey from his earlier and much less credible flicks like The Mask and other equally forgettable shows.  And of course, who can forget his penchance for over acting.  However, in this show, his acting is more mellowed and nuanced.  Not that he's getting an Oscar anytime soon, but he actually tried acting out his character.  And I must say he did a very decent job. And while it was set in 1951, i.e., some years after World War II ended, it had a good plot.  That war ended in 1945 for those who're too young to know this.  In the show, he played a Hollywood writer who's accused of being a Communist.  Suddenly, he lost his career, girlfriend and basically the life he had.  He went for a spin in his car, got into an accident and promptly developed amnesia.  He then stumbled into a small town where he was mistaken for a l...

I like to write as though we're already in a conversation and I'm just about to share something.  So, like I was saying, I've earlier bought a Sony SLT camera and have been experimenting with the 3 lenses I have.  Yup, I've 3 lenses.  Talk about jumping into photography in a big way.  To be fair, the kit lens (18-55 mm, f3.5-5.6) that came with the camera didn't count.  Neither does the complimentary prime (50 mm, f1.8) that I got from Harvey Norman, which the salesman threw in to sweeten the deal.  In actual fact, I only paid for the 3rd lens, which was a wide-angle add-on that comes with a macro.  I know for the uninitiated, the above doesn't make much sense, so I'll try my best to explain. The kit lens is a bit of a zoom lens that is your general purpose walkabout lens.  It comes with the camera, so it's cheap but quite good for those starting out.  The prime has a fixed focal length, so you need to move back and forth to fit the scen...

When I was younger, I really detested my humble beginnings.  I hated the crappy 1-bedroom excuse of a flat we called home.  I despised the neighbourhood I grew up in and the good-for-nothing gangsters and crackpots who hung around downstairs.  I wished every day for adulthood to come so that I can leave this god-forsaken place.  Yes, I was in Singapore then.  Not some 3rd world country.  After a long wait, I finally managed to get to university.  I must say I almost didn't made it.  First, I'm not that smart to begin with.  Second, I was not in good schools and being in the company of underachievers was infectious.  I really had to pull up my socks in Secondary 3 and 4 to do well enough to get into ACJC.  And I really worked my ass off to qualify for university.  And when I was in NUS, I studied hard to get into honours class to read History, which I've always loved since young.   I remember 3 years after graduati...

Since last October, I've been trying to run more frequently.  I used to run a lot more, and I've talked about this before.  But since last year. I've been putting in 3-4 runs a week.  It was tough intially, as inertia exerts a stronger pull than you can imagined.  But after the first few weeks, it became a routine and easier to don my sports/footwear and hit the pavement (or treadmill on some days).  After a few months, it became much easier and I actually looked forward to my regular runs.  In fact, it gave me a high that was hard to match doing other activities.  It also gave me a respite from my often hectic and stressful work, especially as a number of my staff had resigned recently.  But that's a story for another blog entry. So, its now almost a year since I started running regularly.  And for the most part, I've kept to the 3-4 runs a week schedule.  However, it was impossible to do so the last 3 weeks as I was really swarmed...

After my last attempt to take up photography, including getting a second hand Canon SLR (Single Lens Reflex) which has since stopped working, I never quite shook off the idea.  I've always been fascinated by the creative process involved in composing and capturing images.  They range from taking portrait to landscape pictures under various conditions, either natural or otherwise.  The latter category is why a SLR is useful, as you can adjust the shutter speed or aperture size to create different effects, from freezing fast actions to slowing them into a blur.   I recently got myself a Sony A57, which uses a translucent mirror technology, i.e., the mirror doesn't reflex unlike a normal SLR.  Rather, the translucent mirrors allows the image both to be reflected onto the sensor for capturing and the viewfinder for composing simultaneously.  For a normal SLR, the mirror needs to swing out of the way after composing for the sensor to take the image.  W...

The other day, one of my ex-colleagues from MINDEF (where I had worked from 1996 to 2009) was in town. He's now living in New York working for a boutique fund and was back here for work and pleasure. I was told of his being in town by another ex-colleague, who was also my ex-uni mate. She was the one who arranged for the last-minute gathering. Anyway, Eric, Seow Peng and I met at the Long Bar at Raffles Hotel. We had a few drinks and reminisce about the good old days when we all worked in the Defence Policy Office (DPO). We had lots of fun, not least because we felt on the top of the world doing what we thought were the most important work in MINDEF, and possibly in Singapore. We were Defence Policy Officers, and our work was crucial in ensuring Singapore's various harmonious bilateral and multilateral defence relations. Truth be told, while there were hard times, there were also good times. Like when we indulged in hilarious banterings and teasings, from word play to del...

I know that detractors of blogging find bloggers self-absorbed. Who really wants to know how they feel about anything and everything. It's enough that we live in an era where most people are concerned only about their own feelings and thoughts. There's no need to turn to the Internet to find more of such people that you already meet every day of your lives. So here I am talking about my new fan. It's not so much that I got a new fan that's interesting to would-be readers. It's also not the fact that the new fan is a tower fan of the same make as the last one. Rather, it's the fact that the company in question, Europace , makes nice-looking fans but somehow fails to follow through by manufacturing equally decent remote controllers. The one that came with my new tower fan looks cheap and clumsy, and the cover feels like it's gonna give way any time. Of course, my issue with the remote controller is minor next to larger world issues, such as global warming, ...

I've watched the show "Inception" twice, and recently bought the DVD so that I can relive the cinematic experience and Christopher Nolan's brilliance. For those who didn't catch the movie, and you should have, it's a show about planting thoughts (or in this case 1 thought) in people's minds. In the movie, Leonardo di Caprio's character was asked by Ken Watanabe's character to go into his competitor's son's mind to get him to break up the business empire his dying father will soon leave him. To cut to the chase, the story involves putting the subject into a dream state where di Caprio's character and his accomplices can interact with the former in his/her dreams. In this case, there's a dream in a dream in a dream, i.e., 3 levels of dreams. So it's rather complicated, but if you're paying attention, you should've no problems following the plot. Of course, there are various theories on whether there's more t...

I'm not sure if everyone knows about this, but it's about what the US Feds is doing to kick-start the American economy. For those who know, yes again. In case you would like to know what it really means, here's a hilarious version . Suffice to say, it's tantamount to printing money at the end of the day, with all the negative implications that come with it. If you recall your basic economics, more money means lower interest rate. This makes it easier for companies to borrow and less attractive for consumers to save. All in, it's meant to keep everyone spending more so that the economy continues to be buoyant. While the first round of QE had done wonders, the questions is whether resorting to it again spells trouble. As we all know, too much of a good thing is never good for you. And QE is not even unequivocably good, so go figure.